Our God Master Shake the cup with an explosive slap.
Our goal is to rid the world of plebs who eat their food at the wrong meal times. Our great Lord will not have his bruschetta mocked like this. Leave the mockery for lunch, pizza eaters and gingers.

Lunch is God's meal.

The slap kosher diet has a very open lunch diet that restricts all food that is not between two slices of bread.

If we see you eating pizza at lunch it will be removed from your hand with a slap of a thousand suns. Supper? Who fucking cares.

Bruschetta is the ultimate goal for lunch.

You when you eatith the pizza.

A Diet more open than Judaism

My oats are top of the shelf.

If you live a holy life you will be sent to the great sandwich in the sky and live forever as a glorious sandwich for all eternity.

This is you if you live the unholy life.

If you eat the pizza for lunch your soul will be slapped into a Papa John's oven and baked into the Unholy Pizza and will be eaten by the next heretic over and over for all eternity.

This is the holy sandwich in the sky.

Those who live a holy life and make it to the sandwich in the sky and then turn to a life of heretics will be sent back to earth as a sandwich zombie.